Sharks and Stuff

I have a thing for sharks. Not in a kinky, unwholesome way, but I really do have a thing for them. I grew up in a coastal community, less than 10 minutes from a beach that led directly to the intercoastal waterway. My grandparents, relocated Yankees who have never lost the idea that the beach is the pinnacle of heaven on earth, took my sisters and I to the beach as much as humanly possible. We always went early, usually around 8:30 am, and stayed until lunchtime, when the sun got really hot and the tourists finally decided to mosey on down from the comforts of their hotels. My grandfather won a photo contest one time with a picture of me at 18 months old, crouched in the waves, completely naked. It graced the walls of his medical practice, an office approximately 5 minutes away from the beach where it was taken. Needless to say, the ocean and its wonders were a crucial part of my upbringing. I decided from a very early age I wanted to be a marine biologist and make my living studying the wonders of the sea.

Flash forward a few years. I began working as a volunteer at an aquarium in our community which boasted, among others creaturs, a big pool of sharks--nurse sharks, leopard sharks, the occasional baby hammerhead which was always released before it got too big and started eating its tank mates. All the other animals were wonderful in their own speacial ways, but those sharks fascinted me. I learned that sharks are older than dinosaurs. I learned that their skin rubbed one way felt like satin, but rubbed the opposite way would tear through a wet skin glove like razor wire. I learned that they have sonar all over their bodies, and multiple layers of teeth, and the ability to smell blood in the water over 20 miles away. Everything I learned pointed to one fact--that sharks are the perfect creature of destruction. They have evolved over the millenia with one thing in mind--kill.

Now I am not a sadist. I don't like to see things get killed or even hurt. I can barely stand it when people have hurt feelings, let alone hurt bodies. But sharks as killers fascinate me! And there are so many of them! Sharks are literally everywhere--in every ocean of the world. So why the fascination? I think it boils down to some very simple facts. First of all, sharks are simple minded. Hooper from Jaws says it perfectly: "What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, an eating machine . . . all this machine does it eat and swim and make little sharks." It doesn't try to make a home for itself. It's not territorial, trying to scare away other sharks in a particularly good swath of feeding ground. Sharks are not in the tiniest way political. They live to eat and swim and make sweet fish love. Even the fish love part is uncomplicated. Sperm in and I'm out. You have to admire a creature with that sort of singlemindedness. Secondly, as a by product of their singlemindedness, they don't apologize for anything. A shark doesn't have regrets. It doesn't worry or stress or get caught up in cares. It does its thing simply. You have to respect a creature like that.

Beyond that, I like sharks because of their power. Think about this for a minute. You're much more likey to get struck by lightning that bit by a shark. They are big fish. Our brains are something like 500 time bigger than theirs. Yet you ask people who don't swim in the ocean (and there are a lot of them) why they don't go and more often then not you get the same answer: SHARKS. C'mon, now. It's a GIANT FISH in a mass over 3/4 of the total mass of the world. That's like being afraid to go to Africa, anywhere in Africa, because a rhino might trample you. You see people running through thunderstorms everyday. These creatures have struck fear into the heart of man to the point that he is willing to give up part of God's creation altogether, rather than risk a run-in.

Sharks are deserving of our respect, no doubt about that. A lot of the species who aren't the big monsters are seriously threatened by things like overfishing and pollution. They are the garbage collectors of the sea as well, cleaning up all kinds of dead matter and even pollution that would have otherwise choked the seas long ago. They'll eat anything, like a junk yard dog, but with no one around to take them to the vet. They don't care, though. They keep doing their jobs, swimming around, scaring the occasionally snorkler and just enjoying life in general. That's another thing--sharks have an incredibly slow metabolism. Most sharks only eat once a month. The rest of the time they just cruise around and see what's going on. I appreciate that lifestyle. The most bad-ass mofos in the ocean are really just drinking it all in with their fishy, lidless eyes. Shame they don't have bigger brains. I bet they could tell some great stories.
yet another reaosn to love sharks. I do love a great story from the depths of the Deep Blue Sea.